my pearlz
me: i'll kill him
Mollie: please do so.
me: consider it done
i have a hitman on the line 2 now
Mollie: haha. who's on line one?
me: your mom
Mollie: CLAIRE. i told you to stop calling my mom.
it runs up our long didstance bill.
me: hahaha, kidding
it's your brother
Mollie: psh. i know that's not true.
he's in argentina.
me: people can't make phone calls that far?
come on mollie, it's the 21st century
Mollie: he left his phone with me.
he said, 'don't let that skanky bitch claire call me.' i was like, 'will do, bro.'
me: it's all a front
Mollie: sorry claire. it's not in the cards.
me: he doesn't want you to get the 'wrong idea'
even though the 'wrong idea' is exactly whats happening
Mollie: no way
he couldn't pick your titties out of the lineup i compiled.
and you know that anyone who had seen them would never forget them.
i mean, just ask the attending population of any bar you go to
me: MOLLIE
Mollie: hahahahaha
me: no one knows what these concealed gems look like
Mollie: you're right, you're right. they're delicate pearls nestled within the tightly sealed confines of your clam shell blouse.
me: i know
Apr 3rd